Club Harmony
by Smoking Gun GC
Summary: Club Harmony is the hottest new joint in all of Equestria. Owned by Octavia Philharmonica and Vinyl Scratch, Club Harmony has become famous for its mixture of classical music and modern rock, bringing ponies from all over the land to experience the lights and sounds (and to get wasted at the same time).
1. Chapter 1: Sweet and Sour Symphony

**Club Harmony  
Chapter 1: Sweet and Sour Symphony  
**  
By Smoking Gun

* * *

_11:21 PM, Friday, August 21st, 2012_

_Boompa! Boompa! Boompa!_

To anypony waiting outside Club Harmony, that was all that could be heard—not because the music was seeping through the walls, but because speakers were set up on the outside, creating the allure of the music that was supposedly going on inside. Be it boiling hot or freezing cold, nothing could settle the anticipation of the ponies outside. On the outside, Club Harmony strongly resembled a large black cube. A mass of ponies circled continuously around the building. Some wore clothes; others wore nothing. All hoped to make it into the club before the party died down.

Upon entering the club, the pony would then be in the foyer. A cushiony, dark red padding covered the walls of the room. The area was furnished with several tables, chairs, and couches, with several video screens showing the party deeper inside the club. The foyer then split up into three possible paths the ponies inside could take.

Should the pony venture down the path to the left, they would find themselves in front of a pulsating, dark blue screen door. Above the door was a neon sign that read "Wubville, Equestria." Should the pony be brave enough to step through the screen doors, every bone in their body would vibrate, their teeth would crack, and their manes would frazzle from the electricity. In an experience like stepping through the pearly gates, the light was blinding until their eyes had adjusted. The walls were plastered with modern artwork that strongly resembled cage bars. The center of Wubville was a pulsating dance floor packed to the edges with ponies waving their hooves in the air like they didn't care. Off to the left, a dark rectangular brick served as the bar. Behind the bar, a crack team of mixers were blending alcoholic drinks and sodas like it was alchemy. When the lights reflected off the drinks, it was intense enough to seem like an acid flashback.

"Holla if ya hear me!" shouted the DJ. At the opposite end of the room, a series of mixing boards and computer screens made up the unicorn DJ's station. All of the advanced tech would make anypony feel like they were on the deck of the Starship Enterprise. Hundreds of knobs, dials, and computer monitors shoved beat under a magnifying glass, showing every wub in its purest form before blasting it out of the speakers positioned throughout the room.

_This must be how Celestia feels_, thought the DJ to herself. To be able to control every vibration in the air, every rumble of the ground, and every light and image the patrons saw, and to watch them go nuts for it—it was enough to make anypony feel omnipotent. She noticed an automated alert on her central screen reminding that she had her "mega-set" in approximately forty-five minutes. She turned on her headset before standing on her hind legs, making sure that everypony could see her styled blue mane, fuzzy white coat, and hip shades. "Listen, you party animals! I've got places to be—but before I venture into the abyss, allow me to leave you with the rumbles that rock Wubville twenty-four hours a day!"

With the push of a button, a pre-recorded song of the DJ's own design blasted through the speakers so powerfully that it caused the room to shake, and some of the unattended drinks toppled over. As the DJ ascended the stairs behind her, which led to a door near the top, she looked back at the dance floor, noticing that a good chunk of the ponies were startled by the sudden shaking of the floor. "Afraid to die?" she shouted into the headset with a cocky smirk. "If we're going out—we're going out partying!"

The unicorn's words seemed to restore confidence to the uneasy ponies, and they returned to their shuffling and grooving. She looked down upon her adoring customers like a proud mother before hitting a button on her earpiece. White noise erupted from the earpiece of a security guard patrolling the corridors of the building.

"Yo, Muscle. I've got a job for ya."

"Yes, Miss Scratch?"

"Send Octy to my office."

* * *

_11:27 PM, Friday, August 21st, 2012_

If a patron did not venture down the left path from the foyer, they would have two other options. Should they choose to venture down the right side, they would arrive before a large wooden door with two golden knobs. Engraved on the door was "Le sophistiqué résident ici." Regardless of whether the ponies understood the words or not, they would find themselves in the most posh, clean, bright, and calming environment they could possibly imagine. Class and elegance bounced off the cream-coloured walls and again off the thick pillars that supported the roof above. The roof in question was covered with beautiful—and expensive—chandeliers that illuminated the room.

In contrast to Wubville, small drink stations sat all throughout the room. Each one had a neatly groomed and well-dressed stallion or mare, waiting for their guest to venture up to them and request a glass of their finest. There was never a "sir" or "madam" too far away when dealing with the bartenders in Le sophistiqué résident ici. There were large leather chairs set up near fireplaces. A circular couch allowed ponies to look at each other while enjoying their drinks. A variety of other seating arrangements lay around the room for ponies to use to converse with their compatriotes.. The piece de resistance of the Le sophistiqué résident ici was its full orchestra. Classical music permeated the room, though not so loud that the ponies couldn't hear each other. The music was beautiful, calming, and enlightening, enough to make anypony truly feel like they were living the high life. When the violinists played a high note, a shiver went up the spines of anypony listening. Leading the orchestra wasn't a conductor but instead a cellist—a grey earth pony wearing nothing but a purple bow tie that matched her eyes. Her mane was neatly groomed, obviously the work of a team of stylists.

The musicians reached the climactic finale of their piece. They stood and bowed as a thunderous applause flooded the room, almost rivalling the vibrations of Wubville. The cellist walked up to a microphone. She coughed to clear her throat. "Je vous remercie tous d'être venus. N'oubliez pas d'assister à nos mélodie techno-classique à minuit." While some of the ponies nodded their heads in approval, the majority seemed to have lost the meaning of the earth pony's words. "For the linguistically challenged, that means, 'Thank you all for coming. Remember to attend our techno-classical melody at midnight,'" she said with a slight chuckle.

The refined audience gave the orchestra another round of applause before the musicians left the stage. While the rest of the musicians left out the door on the right side of the room, the cellist went straight for the nearest drink station. "Quite a piece, Octavia," remarked the unicorn bartender named Mix 'n' Match.

"It was nothing special," she said. She motioned for him to lean in close to her. "But don't tell _them _that," she whispered, pointing to the guests. The two ponies chuckled, trying not to draw too much attention. "Thank you," she added.

"Hey, it's my job to flatter. This time it just happens to be true," he said, hoping his blush wouldn't show through his black coat.

She playfully punched the bartender, almost knocking the glass he was cleaning out of his grasp. "Oh shush!" she said, and the two started giggling like school-children. Blood rushed to her cheeks. _Thank goodness I remembered to put on make-up tonight_, she thought. As their laughter died down, she turned her attention to the drink menu behind the bartender. "I'll have a glass of C—"

"Cabernet Sauvignon?" he said while magically pouring her a glass. "The drink you've ordered every night since this place opened?" he asked with a hint of smarminess. He handed the glass to her.

"Yes. All seven of them," she retorted before taking a long sip of the red liquid.

"I'm a bartender. It's part of the job description to pick up on what the regulars are inclined to. And so far, it appears as though there's nothing you love more than a glass of C.S."

After finishing her sip, Octavia blinked confusedly for a moment.. "Hmm. Did you put something in this?"

"Does love count?" he answered with a smirk. Octavia just returned a blank stare. "That, and I may have pulled out the vintage stuff." The unicorn levitated the wine bottle onto the counter.

Octavia's eyes passed over the label on the bottle, skipping the brand name and going straight for the year: 1921. The pony's pupils contracted. "You didn't!" she said, aghast.

He shrugged it off with a smile. "No, I took a Sharpie to another bottle," he said sardonically.

The earth pony just barely restrained herself from jumping over the bench and tackling the bartender into the neatly stacked pile of bottles behind him. "Are you out of your mind?" she said furiously. "Those are reserved for royalty and couples celebrating their 75th anniversary or something. You can't just whip that out for me. Do you have any idea how much that bottle you're holding is worth?"

"Eight thousand bits," he said casually. "I know because that's how much that gentlecolt over there paid for the majority of the bottle." He pointed to a blond-maned unicorn on the other side of the room.

Octavia leaned towards her bartender friend, her eyes still focused on the unicorn in question. "Is that Prince Blueblood?" she whispered.

"As a matter of fact, yes. He wanted to impress a few of the lovely mares over there but didn't want to carry the bottle around. He's already paid for it in full, leaving me to pour the rest at my discretion."

Octavia turned back to the bottle, noticing that it was mostly empty already. "Well then... I apologize for hitting you," she said, adjusting her bow tie.

"Good. I was afraid I'd have to file a workplace health and safety report. 'Hello? H.R.? After a single glass of wine, my employer gets violent!'" The two broke up into laughter, Octavia nearly knocking over her glass.

"Miss Philharmonica?" The two ponies spun around to see the burly head of security Hired Muscle, who was staring down at them through his thick shades.

"I told you, Hired, it's just Octavia."

"Miss Scratch wants to see you in her office."

The earth pony rolled her eyes in frustration. "It's not her office. And don't call her Miss Scratch."

"She said she likes it."

Octavia downed the rest of her wine before trotting towards the flight of stairs against the back wall. "That's exactly why you shouldn't do it."

* * *

_11:32 PM, Friday, August 21st, 2012_

Slamming the door open, Octavia entered the office, trotting onto a carpeted area. She stormed directly to two large desk, one of them was turned away from her. "Vinyl, you can't just summon me like you're my boss."

"But I'm everypony's boss," said Vinyl, dramatically turning her chair to face Octavia. Her glasses sat on the desk beside her. The lack of shades on her face revealed her magenta eyes and cocky eyebrows. "We meet again, Miss Philharmonica."

"Do you expect me just to play along with you?"

"No, Miss Philharmonica. I expect you to die! Mwhahahahahah!" Vinyl's eyes bugged out, and she threw her hooves into the air, laughing menacingly the whole time. Once she finished, she looked at Octavia, who was staring blankly at her. "You suck. You know that?" she said, jumping off her chair.

"So I've been told."

Vinyl trotted off the small carpeted floor of the office and onto what took up the vast majority of the room: a floor made entirely of glass that allowed the two ponies to gaze down on the middle section of the club. Each step she took on the glass made a little tink noise. "Maybe you should take that as a sign, fuddy duddy."

"Stop calling me fuddy duddy!" the earth pony said hotly as she walked onto the glass.

"Then stop acting like one."

Now standing side by side, the two gazed down at the center section of the club, watching more and more ponies start to pour in. Vinyl nodded to herself in satisfaction. "Yep. This is definitely what Celestia feels like."

Octavia shot the unicorn a confused look, but Vinyl was too busy looking down to notice. "Um," said Octavia hesitantly, "I believe Celestia's duties usually allow for more sunlight than we've been getting."

"Who needs sunshine when you've—"

"—got wubs?" finished Octavia. Vinyl shot a glare at the earth pony, who added, "You may have mentioned that before."

"Only because it's true."

The two gazed down out of the fourth wall of their office. When they observed the entrance, they could make out the long line of ponies waiting to enter.

"Look at this, Octy. It's beautiful. We've conquered Equestria!" exclaimed Vinyl with her forelegs in the air.

"We've been open for a week, Vinyl. We've barely made enough to pay wages." Octavia glanced back at the desk. Off to her own side of the desk, there were piles of calculations that she had made. Vinyl's side was mostly old boxes of Chinese food and loose papers with rather crude drawings on them. "In fact, we've barely made enough to pay rent."

Vinyl turned to Octavia. "I told you it was a good idea for us to move in together," she said.

"Don't remind me," the cellist said with a shudder. "Ever since then, everypony seems to think we're sleeping together."

"Wait! We're not?!" said Vinyl, forcing tears out of her eyes and dilating her pupils. "Baby... I'm hurt. You're just a heartbreaker. Aren't you?" she said, placing a hoof over her heart.

Octavia smirked at the display before looking back down through the glass. "So I've been told." Her expression faded as she watched more and more ponies enter the central room of the club. "Vinyl, I'm still uneasy about this."

Vinyl groaned and rolled her eyes. "I told you, 'Tavi—they can't see you. Plus, for them to look up your skirt, you'd actually have to be wearing one."

"It's not that." Octavia had never been fond of the two-way glass floor idea that Vinyl had come up with. Ignoring the obvious issues, the idea of gazing down on their customers just seemed off to her. "But this is something we'll need to discuss later. The very idea of a glass floor is exactly why the banks wouldn't give us any money."

"It's magically reinforced, fuddy duddy. Unless you installed a magic cannon without telling me—did you?"

"No."

"Damn it!" Vinyl said angrily. She sighed. "Anyway, the point is nothing can go wrong. Plus, when they look up, all they can see is the night sky." She tapped the glass for emphasis. "All they're getting is a view of the heavens."

"It's like with every sentence that comes out of your mouth, you reinforce my theory that you have a God complex," Octy said half-jokingly.

"We are gods, Octy!" said the DJ, poking the cellist purposefully. "Never, ever forget that. We built this world."

"Club."

"We create the atmosphere that keeps this place going every single night."

"All seven of them."

"We stir emotions in our patrons."

"We watch them get blitzed."

"We can stop our guests' hearts at any point."

"That's because your music scares them to death."

"And yours bores them to death," said the empowered DJ, wrapping a foreleg around her friend. "You see? With our combined powers, we could change everything. I mean, all you have to do is look down. Hundreds of ponies have come from all over Equestria, just to listen to us. In less than a week, we've become the thing in Equestria. We _are _gods!"

Octavia wouldn't let it show, but if there was one thing Vinyl could do better than anypony—besides the obvious—it was delivering speeches. The earth pony smiled slightly. "Yes, you're the god of the music. I'm the god of the tax returns and quote collections," she said with a groan, looking back at her desk.

"Hey, we both agreed that you would take on the paperwork and I would deal with the awesome stuff."

"Well, I'm sick of it already!" the cellist pouted. "Maybe we could switch for a little—"

Vinyl laughed loudly, cutting off Octavia's proposal. "You wanna take control of Wubville? You, of all ponies?"

"W—well, maybe for one night we could, I don't know, take turns switching?" Her eyes shifted back and forth nervously.

"It's so cute that you think you could handle my domain." She pulled her friend in close. "You merely adopted the funk. I was born in it."

The hum of the computer filled the room for a moment.

"Just watched 'The Dark Mare Rises' again?" inquired the cellist in a dull voice.

"Yeah, because it's awesome! You should come with me to see it some time." Vinyl began to trot back towards the carpeted area of the office.

Octavia followed behind the DJ. "I don't think so. A mare that jumps around and violently assaults other ponies doesn't seem like my cup of tea."

"I don't know—maybe you're just afraid it'll _awaken _something in you," Vinyl cooed with a wink.

"Shut up."

"The fire rises!" she shouted, tackling the earth pony onto the carpet. They burst into a fit of giggles.

Once their laughter had died down, they gazed up at the wall behind desk. It was covered with framed photos and significant documents. There were photos of their graduation and photos of them just messing around, along with their university diplomas, both of which indicated music majors from Manehattan School of Fine and Performing Arts. In the center of the wall were two key items: a photo of the two of them wearing hard hats inside a rusty run-down Club Harmony. Above that was a framed parchment. At the top, written in ink, was "Declaration of Ethics," at the bottom were the signatures of the two musicians, and in the middle was a list of twenty-one promises that Club Harmony swore to live up to.

The two ponies turned to each other, beaming with pride. "We're doing good, Octy."

"I know." An awkward, but welcome silence filled the room until Tavi cleared her throat. "I believe you called me up here for something?"

"Oh yeah! That thing!" Vinyl ran to her desk and pulled out a hoofwritten script, shoving it into Octavia's hooves. "I want you to remember these before our sesh tonight."

Looking over the script, Octavia found that it was a series of trash talk examples, most of which rhymed. "Well," she said after a pause, "it's a nice change of pace from what you normally scribble down on paper. But I have to wonder, what exactly is this for?"

"We need to get the crowd worked up. And trust me, for the ponies that I play for, nothing would piss them off more than a stuck-up bitch coming out and trash talking 'em."

"Hey!"

"Don't get mad at me. I'm just painting a picture," Vinyl said, throwing her hooves in the air.

Octavia shifted her eyebrows awkwardly as she read the lyrical insults that the DJ had written for her. "I don't even know what half of these words mean."

"Nopony knows. That's what makes them so harsh—it could mean anything." Vinyl glanced at the clock on the computer. "Come on, it's 11:46. We've got to head down and set up."

* * *

_11:47 PM, Friday, August 21st, 2012_

As the two ponies closed the door behind them and descended the staircase into Le sophistiqué résident ici, the noise from their steps caught the attention of the prissy ponies beneath. Upon seeing the ruffian descending the stairs with Octavia, most of them would have been inclined to call security, had they not recognized her as the co-owner of the establishment. With her crazy mane and epic shades, Vinyl might as well have just walked into a funeral wearing a clown costume. "These are the ponies you play for every night?" the DJ whispered to her partner.

"More or less, I suppose," she said with the tiniest hint of shame in her voice.

Once the pair hit the hard floor, Vinyl took the opportunity to absorb the dubious looks she was receiving. "Nice crowd."

Octavia led her friend over to Mix 'n' Match's drink station. "Mix, make me the strongest brain cell–destroying drink you learned in bartender school."

"Hmmm... I don't think so," he quipped while polishing a bottle of champagne.

Octavia's eyes widened in shock—in a playful sort of way, of course. "Excuse me?"

"Well, as my employer, I'd like you to have enough wits to sign my paycheck at the end of the week," said the bartender with a cheeky grin.

Vinyl made sure to sit at just the right angle to catch the whole conversation.

"Oh, are you just being nice to me for my money?" she asked with a gasp—and smile.

"Maybe, but what's your excuse for being so friendly? Is it for my drinks? My service? Or just the fact I look good in this tuxedo?" he said while ever-so-slightly leaning in.

Octavia returned the gesture, leaning over the bar and laying down her sheet of lyrics. "Maybe, or maybe it's because we just opened and you work for minimum wage," she said with a cocked eyebrow.

Vinyl's mouth twitched into a slight smile.

"Hey, I'm a student. I'll take whatever work I can get."

"So you chose the hottest new club in Ponyville?"

"Well, it wasn't the hottest new club at the time. Besides, I liked the crowd," he said, staring straight ahead.

"High praise."

"Yes, high praise... from a university student–slash-bartender. Move over, H. L. Mencken—there's a new kid in town." The two ponies shared a hearty laugh.

Throughout the entirety of the conversation, Vinyl's gaze had been bouncing back and forth as if she were watching a game of pong—not that anypony could tell with her shades on.

After glancing at the clock behind Octavia, Mix laid down his rag and put away the bottle of bubbly. "As fun as tonight has been, I'm afraid I've got to clock off."

"Really?" asked Octavia, failing to mask her disappointment. "I might just have to give you more hours."

"Please do. Tuition doesn't pay itself, no matter how many times I ask." With one last giggle from Octavia, Mix left his station and headed for the back door, giving the cellist a wave before leaving.

Once Octavia's giddiness died down, she resumed reading her script, until she noticed Vinyl, who was wearing the biggest self-satisfied smirk Octavia had ever seen. "And just what are you smiling at?" asked the earth pony, slightly annoyed.

"Nothing. I'm just happy my ever-so-busy business partner is still finding time to get her some action!" Vinyl said with a punch on her partner's shoulder that was a little harder than necessary.

Octavia looked at Vinyl with surprise and rubbed her bruised shoulder. "What in Equestria are you talking ab—?"

"Don't even try and hide it. I saw the way you and the drink boy were eye-banging each other there."

"His name is Mix 'n' Match, and we were doing nothing of the sort," said the cellist with a slight blush, turning up her nose at the crude DJ.

Vinyl didn't appear to be backing down. "Oh, it's a first name basis with you two, huh?" Her eyebrows peeked over her shades.

"W—well, of course." Octavia's blush was now easily visible through her makeup. "Just because you want ponies to call you 'Miss' because it makes you feel good, doesn't mean the rest of us do."

The DJ casually turned away. "Oh, I don't know. Try getting him to call you that in bed next time; you might change your tune."

Octavia's weak punch barely registered on Vinyl's radar. "Shut. Up," the cellist said with a clenched jaw. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

Vinyl turned back to Octavia. "Really?" She took a swig of champagne straight out of the bottle. "Next to music, this is my thing!"

"I thought movies were your thing next to music."

"The thing is, you may see it as 'witty banter' that you two are having at this point, but what you've forgotten is that I'm a translator. And when I heard you two 'chat,' all I heard was..."

Vinyl took another swig of the expensive bubbly and then took off her glasses and gazed off into space. She said loudly, "Oh Mix, I want to be shaken and stirred!"

Octavia's pupils constricted to microscopic size.

"Push your notebooks off your dorm room table and study me!" moaned the DJ.

Octavia noticed several ponies in Le sophistiqué résident ici turning their heads in Vinyl's direction. She began to sweat. "That's quite enough, Vinyl," she whispered.

Vinyl suddenly lowered her voice. "Miss Philharmonica, you're trying to seduce me!"

More and more ponies started to stare.

"Come here and let me earn my pay check. Tuition doesn't pay itself." Turning her back to Octavia, Vinyl wrapped her hooves around her body. "Oh, Mix!" she wailed in a high voice. "Take me!"

"Mmmms," "aaaahhs," and kissing sounds coming from Vinyl filled the room.

Octavia turned around to see an elderly couple staring in horror at the one-pony show in front of them. She said hastily, "Sh—she's rehearsing for a—a show we're doing! Giving the patrons a sneak—"

"OH YES!" Vinyl slammed her hooves on the bar, startling Tavi and the couple. "PLAY ME LIKE YOUR CELLO!"

Over in the corner, Prince Blueblood waved over one of the waiters, staring straight at Vinyl. "I'll have what she's having."

Octavia shook her DJ partner frantically. "Scratch, stop!"

Vinyl froze mid-performance, tongue lolling out of her mouth.

The whole room was dead silent. Even the piano player had stopped to enjoy the show. Vinyl shot a glance around the room, tongue still hanging out, before standing on her hind legs and bowing. "And thus concludes this evening's dinner theatre!"

Several of the gentlecolts in the room began to applaud. The mares, on the other hoof, just glared. Octavia glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed the time—11:55 PM. She took a hurried sip of champagne and pulled Vinyl towards a door on the side of the room.

"Thank you! Thank you!" shouted the DJ to her admirers as she was dragged through the door. "You've been great!"

* * *

_11:57 PM, Friday, August 21st, 2012_

Upon entering Club Harmony, the ponies had three options. One was Wubville; another was Le sophistiqué résident ici. But there was still the third door, which was at the opposite end of the foyer. The door wasn't a black screen, nor was it wooden with gold handles. It looked to be black marble, and it had two metal plates that the ponies would use to push it open. Should they get the marble door open, they would not be blasted with lights, sounds, or drinks. Instead, they would simply step into what felt like another dimension, one of both sight and sound. Printed over the door was a single word: "Harmony."

The walls weren't covered with modern art, wallpaper, or anything. Anypony new would have thought that they had entered an area still under construction. The floor didn't look much better, but it at least could still be walked on without causing a health and safety violation. There weren't any bars, hors d'oeuvre tables, or even drinking fountains. The walls and floor had dark blue tiling similar to Wubville's. The only two things breaking it up were two windows that allowed the guests in the foyer to see in. There was a large black stage towards the back of the room. Off to stage right was a compact DJ station, similar to the one in Wubville. On the other side of the stage sat a cello, waiting to be used.

Behind the stage, Octavia was sitting on an empty crate, hyperventilating into a paper bag.

Vinyl laid a hoof on Octavia's shoulder. "You've performed at the Grand Galloping Gala. This can't be that bad, can it?"

"It's just... this is our first—oh God!" She went back to her inhales and exhales before taking another break. "This is our first duet since we opened. There's so much riding on this and—"

_SMACK_!

Vinyl slapped Octavia across the cheek, making the earth pony drop her bag. "Girl, we poured our hearts and souls into this place. We are going to make this happen!"

Octavia gently rubbed her cheek. "Did you have to slap me?"

"That's irrelevant. What is relevant is the fact that there's a cello on that stage with your name on it. We've rehearsed the whole set already. Don't panic because I threw some extra material at you."

The cellist glanced down at her script. "But I still don't know them... and they're coming in." Side doors connected to the other sections of the club swung open, letting the ponies from each side pour into Harmony. The musicians peeked past their equipment.

"Watch, Octy. It's gonna happen just like we said."

Once the patrons of Wubville settled into Harmony, they couldn't help but snicker at their prim and proper counterparts from Le sophistiqué résident ici. Ironically enough, the same thing was happening on the opposite side of the room. The sight of the drunken, questionably dressed ruffians on the Wubville side triggered a snicker among the prissy ponies. It was hard to make out what the ponies were saying, but it didn't take reading lips to tell that there was some antagonism brewing in the room.

"See? What did I tell ya?" asked Vinyl.

"I never doubted this part, Vinyl. It's the part that comes next."

Hearing the back door swing open, the musicians turned and saw Mix 'n' Match entering the room. "Hey guys," he said casually.

Octavia immediately resumed hyperventilating. "M-Mix?" she stammered. "I thought you were off."

"I am. I just thought I'd catch the show before I left. I hear there are these great musicians playing."

Without warning, the house lights dimmed. A single spotlight was now aimed straight at the cello. "That's your cue, Tavi," said Vinyl as she shoved Octavia up the stairs. Once she stepped into the light, the refined side of the room gave a warm applause. The Wubville side was not as welcoming.

Octavia squinted at the audience in front of her, unable to distinguish either half of the crowd.. Her heartbeat pounded loudly. She adjusted her bow mic nervously. "Um... Good evening, everypony."

"Oh, Celestia," said Vinyl with a facehoof.

"What is she doing?" asked Mix.

"I... may have given her rap lyrics and asked her to trash talk the ponies from Wubville."

Mix looked horrified as he turned back to the stage. Even with her back to him, Mix could tell Octavia was sweating bullets. "This is going to be the worst speech ever... that I'll have it recorded and playing on a constant loop."

It took a Herculean effort for Octavia to get her first sentence out. "I see a lot of nice ponies in the audience tonight. Unfortunately," she said haltingly, "that doesn't include the ruffians I see on the Wubville side!"

Vinyl's skin started to crawl.

Mix shook his head. "This is too sad to be funny," he remarked.

"Y—you're minutemen... wrapped in cinnamon!" stuttered Octavia.

"Vinyl," Mix said, "you've got to—" He paused and looked around. Besides the technicians, there was nopony in sight. "Vinyl?" he said hesitatingly.

"Your parents experiment with narcotics!" said Octavia

With a _clong_, the spotlight shut off.

"Oh, thank Celestia," the cellist whispered to herself.

"Children of the night..."

With another _clong_, the spotlight turned back on, now shining on Vinyl at her station. Looking over the top of her glasses, she gave her audience a super villain grin. "What beautiful music we make." The Wubvillians erupted into cheers for the DJ. The refined ponies remained silent. "What is up, my party ponies?" Vinyl roared into the applause.

Octavia covered her ears.

"And of course, our distinguished invad—I mean, guests."

The ponies from Le sophistiqué résident ici bickered amongst themselves, obviously shocked and appalled by the disrespectful DJ.

"Now..." Vinyl started strutting across the stage on her hind legs with her forelegs behind her back. "It's come to my attention that there are some ponies in this room who shall remain nameless—because I don't know them—that are too far stuck in the dark ages to appreciate real music. Would you say that this true?"

Octavia would have described what she saw next as a "science experiment." The Wubvillians cheered and pumped their hooves in support of the DJ. On the other hoof, all the guests from her side of the club shook their heads and muttered to each other. When she listened closely enough, she could hear more than a few ponies saying, "this is most unorthodox.'

"Yep, I thought so." Vinyl trotted back over to her mix station. Turning to face Octavia, Vinyl leant over her mixer, resting her head on her hoof. "But, it'd be pretty mean of me to not let the queen of the fancies here get a fair shot in first. Care to prove me wrong, Tavi?"

Octavia smiled and nodded before grabbing her cello and bow. She took a deep breath and then pulled the bow across the strings, striking notes with airtight precision. Anypony with half a brain could recognize the song she was playing: _Bittersweet Symphony_.

While the Le sophistiqué guests let the classic melody waft over and consume their pretentious minds, the Wubvillians had to keep drinking so they wouldn't fall asleep.

After finishing her sample, Octavia received applause from half the audience as well as the DJ next to her.

"Not bad. Not bad at all." Vinyl flipped through some folders on her screen and pulled up a single MP3 file. "Here's a little something I whipped up earlier." She slammed her hoof on the keyboard, and the speakers blasted out thumping beats that shook the room.

The Wubvillians started taking up more and more space, creating an impromptu mosh pit that just added to the shaking. The patrons of Le sophistiqué, on the other hoof, plugged their ears and gritted their teeth at the noise. Nothing more than a crazy assembly of sound effects and other noises that you would find at a construction site they thought it was, but to the Wubvillians, it was a soul-invigorating trip. Vinyl was playing the music so loud that the glass in somepony's monocles started to crack.

The music faded into silence. Vinyl stepped out from behind her mixing board and openly embraced the screams of her fans, grinning from ear to ear. "Well, seems like we've both got something going, wouldn't you agree, Octy?"

"I suppose that's one way to put it," she returned.

The DJ brought up a custom composer program on her monitor. After adjusting a few settings and turning the volume up to 11, she turned her eyes to her partner, giving a knowing smile. "Here's lookin' at you, kid."

Octavia returned the smile. "Three... two... one..."

"KICK IT!"

Octavia launched back into her rendition of Bittersweet, and Vinyl simultaneously began crafting a whole new set of wubs. The crowd stood in shock as the two musicians started blending their styles, flawlessly. The vibrations bounced off each other perfectly. Despite how different the musicians were, they still performed in perfect harmony. It wasn't dubstep, it wasn't classical, it was something entirely new. What the audience felt was strange, but what the musicians felt was quite familiar. The spotlights shining on them revealed the giant smiles the two shared. This is what they were always meant to do.

The ponies from _Le sophistiqué_ started to nod their heads to the beat. The mares, after taking off their expensive heels, tapped their hooves on the ground. One by one, they started grooving more and more to the music, moving towards the center as they started bouncing. They had never heard dubstep like this before. For the first time in their lives, the music was making their hearts beat faster and their brains throb—and they didn't give a buck. The Wubvillians were having a somewhat different reaction. The wubs were always welcome, but the inclusion of Octavia's work gave them a more relaxed feeling. All the angry, harsh emotions that they may have had when they entered were long gone. They gradually returned to their moshing, but it wasn't anywhere near as aggressive as it was a few moments ago. This time, it was smoother, cleaner, and more about enjoying the music itself than enjoying the club. Within minutes, the two social groups of ponies merged, moving to the beat of the beautiful tunes. They let their muscles turn to jelly as they jumped up and down and waved their hooves around. When they were at their most blissful, they all turned their heads upwards, viewing the beautiful and peaceful night sky.

Typically, songs lasted between two to four minutes, but not this. This just kept going and going...

* * *

_12:21 AM, Saturday, August 22nd, 2012_

And going.

The fatigue finally settled in, and all the ponies gradually moved away from the center. But instead of returning to the sides that they had come from, the guests were now mingling with each other. In one corner, an elderly gentlecolt in a top hat was discussing wine with a stallion in a mesh shirt. Nearby, a duchess was making out with... nopony knew whom exactly, but there it was.

Sweat dripping from their brows, Octavia and Vinyl bowed to their new fans, still wearing the same smiles from when they started playing. "See, what'd I tell ya?" Vinyl panted as she escorted Octavia backstage. "It went exactly like we planned. Look at them!"

Octavia gazed through the sound equipment at the newly combined group of ponies sharing drinks, stories, and phone numbers. She may have been humiliated, but it was worth it for this. "Yes. I suppose it did."

"Octy, look," whispered Vinyl from behind her.

Octavia turned around and saw Mix sleeping in a pile of sandbags.

"I told you your music put ponies to sleep," said Vinyl.

Noticing a large drape that had been tossed into a pile of other unused things, Octavia pulled it over with her mouth and draped it over the bartender. "I think this may have more to do with the fact he's been up working for eight hours."

"I'm thinking you just planned this whole thing, just so you could tuck your little your Mixy-Wixy in."

Octavia was way too tired to be embarrassed. "Mixy-Wixy?"

"Yeah, you can call him that and he can call you Miss P—"

"Don't even finish that sentence." Regardless of Vinyl's jokes, the makeshift blanket did look tempting right now. "I think I'm just going to call it a—" Octavia looked beyond the stage to see Vinyl chugging cider with Harmony guests. "Vinyl?" With nopony else around, Octavia took the opportunity to hop under the drapes, keeping a considerable distance from her employee. "This isn't weird, is it?"

Octavia stared awkwardly at Mix's sleeping form for a moment.

"Yeah, it is."

* * *

_9:08 AM, Saturday, August 22nd, 2012_

One of the other draws of Club Harmony was the fact it was open twenty-four hours a day. It was never busy during the day, but there were always a few stragglers hanging around from the night before— usually unconscious.

A male unicorn wearing a black button-down shirt with a white tie approached the door of Wubville, which hung open slightly because Berry Punch had passed out in the middle of it. Stepping over her, he entered what looked like a war zone; vomit covered the wall, and broken glass and missing shoes lay scattered across the floor. Using his magic, the unicorn cleared a path through the room. The only ponies in the room that were still conscious were the cleaning ponies. The stallion approached the first staff member he could find.

"Hey, mate. You don't know where Vinyl Scratch is, do ya?" he asked.

"I think I have an idea," the cleaner responded.

The cleaning pony walked to what looked like a pile of dead bodies. Most of the guests had opted not to use the furniture and simply slept on top of each other, forming random piles around the room. One by one, the cleaner moved ponies out of the pile, reaching as deep as he could into the stack. "Here she is!" With all of his strength, he pulled out the DJ, causing the pile of ponies she was sleeping under to collapse— not that that woke them up.

"Thanks, mate," said the unicorn.

He started nudging Vinyl with his hoof. "Yo, Vinyl Scratch? I'm here for the interview."

Vinyl slowly started to get up. "Dude... can you not see that I'm completely out of it right now?" she groaned. "Who wakes a pony up a six in the morning?"

"Nine," he said.

"What?"

"It's ten minutes past nine. We agreed to have the job interview at 9:15."

It was hard for Vinyl to stand still with her legs shaking like she was in a snowstorm. "I remember agreeing to no such thing!"

"Actually, that's exactly what we agreed to." Reaching into his shirt pocket, he pulled out a printout of a series of emails between him and Vinyl. "I asked you if August 22nd at 9:15 would be acceptable. You said 'whatever.' So here I am!"

As her shades started to slip down her face, the unicorn could see her bloodshot eyes.

"OK, whatever," she said as she dragged herself onto the one piece of a nearby couch that wasn't covered in Celestia-knows-what. The unicorn decided to stand; there wasn't anywhere else to sit that wasn't covered in gunk.

"Look, you should talk to Tavi. She handles this employment crap a lot better than I do," said Vinyl, rubbing her throbbing head.

"I don't doubt that for a second," said the unicorn snidely.

Vinyl shot back a glare, which was amplified by her bloodshot eyes.

The unicorn awkwardly cleared his throat. "Something just told me that I should talk to you about this."

"I'm sorry, who the hay are you again?" asked the hungover DJ.

"Neon Lights," he responded. "I'm here for the lighting job."

* * *

_9:16 AM, Saturday, August 22nd, 2012_

Relaxing on a clean couch in _Le sophistiqué_, Octavia was sipping from a cup of hot chocolate that some of the early morning bartenders had whipped up for her.

"Octavia?" asked Hired Muscle as he approached his employer. "There's somepony here to see you."

He pointed her towards a male earth pony sitting across the room at a table for two. Even from here, Octavia could see that this guy seemed rather questionable. His mane looked greasy, his beard was stubbly, and his suit looked cheap.

"Very well. I don't suppose you could—?"

"Yeah, I'll be in earshot."

Octavia gave him a nod before approaching the stallion, leaving her hot chocolate behind. "You wanted to see me, mister—"

"Let's not stand on ceremony here, Octavia. Just grab a seat." His thick Italian accent added to his aura of displeasure.

Octavia didn't have a problem with Italians—but this particular pony met the exact description of a thug from a mafia movie Vinyl had made her watch a few weeks earlier.

"Name's Bobby Trotta," continued the stallion. "I'm an associate of Harold Maxx."

"I'm sorry; I don't believe I've heard of this Harold Maxx."

"Most ponies haven't," he said, sliding a business card across the table. "He's kinda shy." On closer examination of the card, Octy noticed that the card was yellow with a few lines of black text. It read "Maxx's Disposals—For All of Your Waste Needs." Suspiciously enough, there was no address or phone number on the card.

"If you're offering Mister Maxx's services, you can let him know so he can come and see me himself. Until then, I'll have to bid you good d—"

Octavia only let those closest to her use "Octy" as a nickname. This guy was really starting to make her uneasy, but she wasn't ready to give him the boot just yet.

The stallion paused and glanced around. "You see, disposal is just one a' Maxx's many, many services," he said softly. "He's dabbled in construction, catering, wine making, and, on occasion, pharmaceuticals."

"I'm sorry, but did you just say 'pharmaceuticals'?" It didn't take a university degree to tell that a pony who does both construction and medicine didn't pass the smell test.

"The economy's been rough on hardworkin' ponies like Maxx. With things bein' as hard as they are, it's never a bad idea for a stallion to venture into multiple professions. You're a fresh graduate; I'm sure you can sympathise."

Octavia's rear hoof started to quiver. "Excuse me, but how did you know I had only just graduated?"

"It's good practice to know the pony you're doin' business with. I'm sure they taught you that back at school," he said with a creepy smile.

"Well, that's," said Octavia with a pause, " certainly something I can't argue with."

Muscle was ready to step in, but a brief glance from Octavia signalled for him to hold on just a little longer.

Octavia began, "Mister Trotter—"

"Call me Bobby."

"Bobby, what sort of business does Maxx want to do with Vinyl and me exactly?"

"Umm... it's not exactly you and your friend Maxx wishes to deal with. He wants to deal with Club Harmony."

Octavia started to lean back, arching her eyebrows in a confused manner.

Bobby continued, "Kid, you've got something great here. In less than a week, Club Harmony has already got everypony's attention. Ponies from Boltimare, Canterlot, even Trottingham are talkin' about this place. But still, it can't be cheap to run a hangout like this. Am I right?"

Octavia re-examined her surroundings. Even though Wubville wasn't the cheapest area to furnish, it had nothing on the bill that came for Le sophistiqué—the chandeliers alone were expensive enough to put most ponies into poverty. "Again, something I can't argue with."

"Here's another thing ya can't argue with: Maxx is a pony of his word. All he wants is to use Club Harmony to help further his business. Waste management, construction, pharmaceuticals... whatever profession Maxx chooses, he can run out of this fine establishment of yours. In return, Maxx would 'ease' the financial strain of runnin' such a swanky joint," he said, leaning towards the earth pony. "What do ya say?"

Octavia swallowed her fear and leaned towards her guest. "Bobby, I don't know if you're aware of this, but when Vinyl and I opened this establishment, we signed something called a 'declaration of ethics.' Now, you don't strike me as the kind of pony who would be familiar with any of those words, so I'll explain. Ethics are a code that a pony stands by, regardless of the circumstances. I don't suppose Maxx knew about that when he researched us?"

"Yeah, Maxx thought you'd mention that. He thought it was cute," said the pony smarmily.

"Then you know that Club Harmony has sworn to uphold twenty-one different ethics. Did Maxx mention by any chance what number one was?"

Keeping his smile up, Bobby just sat and stared.

"Number one is that Club Harmony will never knowingly conduct itself in illicit activities. And I don't believe I need a tertiary education to figure out that Maxx may not have the law as a priority."

"Let's not throw insinuations out there. Maxx, and all of his employees, are just honest ponies looking to make an honest bit."

"I think you and I might have different definitions of that word." She shifted her gaze past the greasy pony. "Muscle?"

Bobby turned in his seat to find a giant pony in shades and a suit towering over him.

Octavia said, "Would you be so kind as to escort Mister Trotter to the dumpster out back? Thank you."

Grabbing him by the scruff of his neck, Muscle carried Bobby towards the back door.

"I see ya like havin' guests, Octy. Good—you're about to get a few more." Without saying anything else, Bobby finally left Octavia's sight.

Pushing the door open, Mix strolled into Le sophistiqué. His ears twitched as he heard a crash coming from the dumpster outside. "What's that about?" he asked Octavia.

"Oh, nothing—except I just had my head of security escort out a mobster." Octavia made no attempt to hide her pride. "I've never felt so... powerful." She skipped back to the couch she had been sitting on before, picking her hot chocolate back up. "It was quite invigorating."

While Octavia happily sipped her hot chocolate, Mix had a clear look of panic on his face. "Octavia, are you sure that was the best idea?"

"Of course! There's no chance in Tartarus that I'd ever compromise the ethics that Vinyl and I swore to."

"Octavia," he said, leaning in close. "Are you sure about this?"

Finishing her sip, the cellist gave her employee a cocky smile (something she didn't give out often). "What could go wrong?"

* * *

_9:21 PM, Friday, January 1st, 2013_

Harmony was the last word anypony would use to describe the center hub of Ponyville's number one club. The soundproof windows from the foyer to the middle room were cracked, teetering on the brink of shattering into thousands of pieces. The inside of Harmony looked like a battlefield. There were three unconscious earth ponies on the ground, covered in the same glass that was covering the rest of the floor. Some of the glass that was facing the right way revealed a glimpse into the stars of the night sky. The speakers that had once hung above the room had fallen to the ground, looking like they had exploded from the inside out. On the stage was a mixing board that had been riddled with so many bullets that it looked like Swiss cheese. On the opposite side was a cello resting on top of a white pony, blood running out from her and dripping onto the floor.

The rear door flew open.

"VINYL!" Octavia ran up to the stage and threw aside the cello, revealing a barely conscious Vinyl Scratch. Blood was pouring out of her ears and forming a puddle on the stage. "Vinyl! Can you hear me?" shouted Octavia frantically.

Vinyl looked up at Octavia in a daze.

"Come again?"


	2. Chapter 2: Mareinizer

**Club Harmony**

**Chapter 2: Mareinizer**

Smoking Gun

* * *

****_9:15 AM, August 22nd, 2012_  
**  
**Vinyl struggled to hear her own thoughts over the sound of the jackhammers that were hammering away at her skull inside. As the shades started to slip down her face, she could see Neon sporting a very uneasy smile as he waited for her to respond.

"Look, Neon—or whatever, I'm really not ready to deal with this right now. Could you just... I don't know. Go up the stairs against the wall to my office. The door's unlocked. Just wait in there until I get back."

Vinyl stumbled off the couch and headed to the door that would lead her through Harmony and into the Le sophistiqué portion of the club.

"Wait," said Neon. "Where are you going?"

"To grab some breakfast... and toss it up."

* * *

****_9:17 AM, August 22nd, 2012_  
_**  
**_As Vinyl pushed the door to Le sophistiqué open, she found Octavia leaning against a spare counter, holding her mobile up to her ear.

"OK, now you take a left," she spoke into the phone. "Now keep heading down the hall until you hit—oh, you're there now? Wonderful." Octavia's eyes drifted to the side and focused on the approaching DJ. "Sorry Mummy, I have to go. Send Daddy my love!" After blowing some kisses into the phone, the grey mare finally hung up.

"What was up? Your Mum need directions or something?" inquired Vinyl.

Octavia looked away with a blush. "Yes... she wandered into the cook's quarters by accident and I had to guide her back to the living room."

Vinyl cracked up with laughter. "Celestia, I love that mare! She's—urgh!" Vinyl rubbed the side of her head.

"A little hungover, Vinyl?" asked Octavia with a smirk.

"If by 'hungover' you mean 'hung over a pit of lava and jackhammers,' then yes," she said, adjusting her shades.

Letting out a little giggle, Octavia led Vinyl over to an empty couch.

"So, where's Mixy-Wixy? I noticed he wasn't in Harmony," asked Vinyl with a sly grin.

"You just missed him. He went home to rest before his shift this afternoon. And do all of us a favour and never call him that again."

Vinyl laughed for a brief second before stopping suddenly and clutching her head in pain.

"So, what's on your agenda today?" asked Octavia.

"Well," started Vinyl, "I've got some jackass in Wubville asking for a job. I sent him up to the office to wait for us. I was kind of hoping you could deal with him for me."

Octavia's eyes widened in shock. "You sent somepony we don't know up to our office, unattended?" she gasped.

"I don't know! I'm tired," groaned Vinyl.

Octavia sighed as she pulled Vinyl away with her, heading to the stairs that led to their office.

"Honestly Vinyl, if you can't even keep your own schedule, why do I even let you run this club with me?"

"Behind every great mare is an even hotter one, I always say," said Vinyl as she and Octavia entered the office, closing the door behind them.

Glancing around the office, the two found no sign of Neon Lights. Vinyl let out a sigh of relief.

"Phew! Hopefully he just gave up and left."

The two heard tapping from the Wubville-side door.

"Actually, I've been standing here since you left. Turns out the door wasn't unlocked like you said," he said with an annoyed tone in his voice.

Vinyl stumbled towards the door, closing her eyes and leaning her head against it, groaning as her head settled on the wood.

"Look, dude, just come back at like... three-thirty or something. I am really not in the mood to deal with you or anypony right now. So do us both a favour and vamoose. Pretty please?"

"... Fine," came a mutter from behind the door. Octavia looked on with chagrin as Neon's hoofsteps moved down the stairs, eventually fading away.

Vinyl looked back to find Octavia glaring at her.

"Vinyl, that was very unprofessional and just plain rude!" she shouted. "We can't be expected to be respected if you just disregard appointments like this because you partied too hard the night before."

"Come on, Octy. So far you've handled all this 'work' stuff better than I have," said Vinyl as she stumbled away from the door.

"You're right, Vinyl," said Octavia with an increasingly angered tone. "In fact, I've handled all the 'work' so far. Eventually, you're going to have to take your title as co-owner more seriously."

Vinyl wobbled onto the glass portion of the office, facing away from Octavia.

"Can I take title," slurred Vinyl, "serious tomorrow? I'm gonna... I just need..." The fatigue finally set in, causing Vinyl to collapse onto the glass overlooking Harmony, lying spread-eagle over the two-way glass.

Octavia rolled her eyes as she pulled her nice coat off the rack near the door. "If you need me—you always do—I'll be with my friends at the spa. You know, the friends who know how to carry themselves in the morning!"

Pulling the door open, Octavia looked back. The unconscious unicorn was still lying flat over the glass that shed light onto their creation, drool running out of her mouth and onto the freshly cleaned floor.

It would almost be poetic if her rear wasn't pointed directly at me.

* * *

****_12:21 PM, August 22nd, 2012_  
_**  
**_Octavia moaned in ecstasy as she lay flat on the towel-covered board, a goofy smile plastered across her face.

"Oh, Celestia! That's feels amazing," she moaned.

"Of course it does, darling. You've needed this more than anypony," said Rarity, who was lying on the board next to her. "These are the finest masseuses in all of Equestria. Especially this fine gentlecolt," she said, gesturing to the stallion working on her back.

"It's no trouble at all, ma'am," said the stallion working on Rarity. "I've been doing this for a number of years."

"Really?" asked Rarity. "I'd love to hear more about it over dinner—"

"Rarity!" shouted Twilight, who was sitting in the hot tub next to the massage tables. "You'll have to excuse my friend," she said to the stallion. "She can be a bit forward sometimes."

"No problem, ma'am," he chuckled, never taking his hooves of Rarity.

"Honestly, Twilight, you're no fun," pouted Rarity.

Octavia continued to moan as her masseuse worked her magic. "Thank you again, girls. You have no idea how badly I've needed this."

"I think we have a vague idea," said Rarity. "You've opened up a rather large establishment, and in just over a week it's become the talk of the town. Even ponies from Canterlot are talking about Club Harmony. It must be stressful."

Octavia only moaned in response.

"I went through a similar situation when I opened Carousel Boutique," continued Rarity. "It's quite a daunting task opening up a new business... especially when you have to do most of the heavy lifting," she said, giving Octavia a knowing smile.

Octavia returned a confused look. "I beg your pardon?"

Rarity cleared her throat with a cough. "Vinyl, dear."

"Oh, right." Octavia sank further into the table as the massage continued. "I admit, working with Vinyl is akin to working with goldfish suffering from ADHD, but she's still my friend and business partner."

Twilight moved herself around the tub so that she was closest to Octavia. "Speaking of which, there's something that Rarity and I have been meaning to ask you."

Octavia glanced up at the purple unicorn. "Yes?" she asked with trepidation.

"Well... we're sure that Vinyl Scratch is a very nice pony. But it's, well..."

Octavia raised her head towards Twilight. "It's what?"

"We're just curious, dear," interjected Rarity. "You have to admit, it's rather... unorthodox that a classical musician would be such dear friends with DJ."

The grey pony returned a blank expression. "And?"

"Well... we were just wondering how the two of you became friends. I'm sure it's a lovely story," said Rarity with a supportive smile.

"You make it sound romantic," said Octavia, rolling her eyes. "Even if Vinyl and I were together, the last thing I would call it would be 'romantic.'"

Rarity and Twilight shared a confused expression.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Twilight.

"Let's just say our story isn't as 'lovely' as you might think. And if it's all right with you girls, I'd rather not go into detail. All you need to know is that Vinyl and I are both hardworking ponies who just so happen to be friends. It doesn't matter what their tastes are or how unprofessional they can be... or how hard they kick you in bed," she muttered, looking away.

Twilight and Rarity's widened in shock.

"Excuse me, darling, but did you just say that you and Vinyl share a bed?" whispered Rarity.

Octavia's eyes widened, almost as though she had just realized what she had said.

"It's not like that! We couldn't afford to live on our own or to have a two-bedroom apartment, so we have to share the one bedroom we have."

"Couldn't you have just flipped a bit?" asked Twilight.

"We did... but I dropped it and it bounced out the window. Neither of us felt like going down to get it so we just agreed to share the bed."

Rarity started to snicker. "So that's where the rumors are coming from."

As Twilight and Rarity shared a giggle, Octavia blushed and looked away. Suddenly her massage didn't feel as pleasant as before.

* * *

****

_1:34 PM, August 22nd, 2012_  
**  
**Vinyl Scratch's eyes finally started to open. Her vision on the left side of her face was blurry; during her slumber, she had rolled into her own puddle of drool. Rolling onto her back, she found a cyan pegasus with a rainbow-coloured mane standing over her. Suddenly a pink earth pony filled her field of vision.

"'Sup, Scratchy?!" she said excitedly.

Vinyl screamed, jumping onto all fours. Rainbow and Pinkie broke out into laughter.

"Nice scream, Vinyl. You'll have to Auto-Tune it for your next song," said Rainbow Dash.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up," groaned Vinyl as she wiped the drool from her face.

"Aww! Too much drool for you?" cooed Rainbow. "Hang on and we'll go get your binky."

Vinyl socked the pegasus in the foreleg. "That binky's gonna go straight up your flank if you don't shut up." Her legs struggled to support the rest of her body. "What brings you two to my little slice of heaven?"

"The drinks," said Pinkie. "Duh!"

Vinyl furiously shook her head, recalibrating her sense. "Oh yeah, I did promise you guys a couple of drinks. Come on, I'll see what we have left from last night."

Heading down the steps, Vinyl and her friends trotted over to the bar, which was currently unoccupied. The cleaners had cleared out all of the unconscious ponies from the previous night. Vinyl trotted behind the counter, and Pinkie and Rainbow sat on the stools on the other side.

"So what can I get you guys?" asked Vinyl.

"Cider! Lots of it!" shouted Rainbow.

"Don't you think it's a bit early for cider?" Vinyl pointed out.

"Dude, it's never too early for cider! You should have it with your fruit loops," said Rainbow with a completely serious grin.

Vinyl reluctantly poured her a huge mug of cider, which Rainbow snatched and immediately started to drink.

"What about you, Pinkie?" asked the DJ.

"I'll just have some Applejack Daniels, please," asked Pinkie with a sweet smile.

Reaching onto the shelf behind her, Vinyl pulled down a full bottle of Applejack Daniels, popping the top off and placing it in front of Pinkie.

"Wait! Almost forgot." Vinyl reached under the bar and pulled out a large, transparent silly straw and gently placed it down the neck of the bottle.

"Thanks, Scratchy," said Pinkie before the Applejack Daniels traveled through the loops of her straw and into her mouth.

"So, how's biz?" asked Rainbow as she put down her nearly empty mug of cider.

"Pretty awesome," Vinyl said. "We had our first duet last night. We don't have another one scheduled yet, but we'll have to do another at some point I guess."

Rainbow's eyebrows arched. "Why do you have to wait till your next one?"

"Well, we've both been pretty busy. Paperwork, quotes, all that good stuff," said Vinyl, beginning to polish some wine glasses.

"Really? Cause it looked like you were 'busy' being spread-eagle on the glass floor of your office," remarked Rainbow with a smirk. "By the way, what's up with that thing anyway?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time," said Vinyl. "And by the way, I was sleeping because I was working late last night. What kind of image would I be putting out there if I couldn't stay up long enough to party?"

"A fair point, ma'am," said Rainbow as she finished off her cider. Vinyl promptly refilled it.

"Couldn't you just have Octavia do it?" asked Rainbow before downing her cider.

"Yeah," added Pinkie. "She seems super smart, like Twilight. Why don't you just ask her to do it?"

Vinyl looked away. "Well... she kind of does already. It's been rough on her."

"Can I ask you something?" asked Pinkie.

Vinyl just shrugged in response.

"How did you two become friends?

Vinyl gave Ponyville's other official party pony a confused look.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm all about making friends. I just wanna know how you met." Pinkie lowered herself out of Vinyl's line of sight and suddenly appeared right next to the unicorn. "I bet you two met on the mean streets of Canterlot—"

"We were both raised here," corrected the DJ.

"You had a club that was just about to open—"

"No I didn't."

"And she started working for you."

"We opened up this one together. She's never worked for me."

"And over time, the two of you fell in love and—"

"Stop. Stop right there!" said Vinyl, shoving her hoof into Pinkie's mouth. "I already told you guys and everypony else that Octy and I aren't dating. Why does everypony think that?"

"I don't know," said Rainbow. "Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you told us that you two sleep in the same bed."

"She dropped the bucking bit!"

Rainbow and Pinkie laughed while Vinyl leaned down on the counter.

"Relax, Scratchy," said Pinkie as she appeared on the other side of the bar. "We're just teasing you."

"Yeah. It looks like you could use a laugh anyway," said Rainbow as she placed her yet-again-empty mug of cider in front of Vinyl. The DJ didn't budge at the sight of the mug.

"Actually, between the two of us, Octy's the one that needs a break."

Rainbow and Pinkie rotated their eyes to each other, sharing confused expressions.

Vinyl continued. "I've been letting her do all the hard work while I've been partying and giving away free drinks."

"You speak as though this is an issue," remarked Rainbow as she not-so-subtly pushed her empty mug closer and closer to Vinyl.

Vinyl jumped over the counter and trotted away from her friends. "Help yourself."

"Wait!" shouted Pinkie. "Where you going, Scratchy?"

"Sorry, guys. I've got some paperwork to do."

* * *

****

_3:14 PM, August 22nd, 2012_  
_**  
**_Octavia, looking rather beautiful after her trip to the spa, entered Club Harmony, sharing friendly smiles and nods with her employees as she headed into Le sophistiqué and up the stairs to her office. She pushed the door and stopped at the sound of hooves tapping away at a keyboard. Looking at the opposite side of the desk, she saw Vinyl staring directly at the monitor. The unicorn didn't respond to Octavia's entrance.

"Updating your 'Hot or Not' page?" asked Octavia as she hung up her coat.

"Nah. I'll do that tonight. I'm just figuring out some of expenses for last night."

Octavia froze. She turned back to Vinyl, who hadn't taken her eyes away from the screen. The grey mare suddenly exploded with laughter.

"Y—you almost had me going... bwhahahahah!"

Finally turning her eyes away from the screen, Vinyl stared blankly at the earth pony, showing no emotion whatsoever. Octavia leaned closer, seeing that Vinyl was drained of energy. She had bags under her eyes and her mane was even more frazzled than it usually was.

"Oh my goodness. You're serious, aren't you?"

Vinyl didn't respond, instead turning her attention back to the screen as she typed away. Octavia trotted over to Vinyl's side of the desk and looked at her screen. In a spreadsheet, Vinyl had several figures spread across the document. Next to her keyboard were her trademark shades, as well as several pieces of paper with mathematical formulas on them.

"You were out, so I thought I'd take care of all this stuff." Looking back at Octavia, she saw that the cellist had a look of utter disbelief on her face. "I'm sorry about not pulling as much weight as I could," she said with an apologetic tone.

Octavia examined the loose papers and smiled.

"I'll say this much, this has to be the first time in years I've seen you drawn on a piece of paper without it resulting in ludicrously large genitals."

"Well, the second," said Vinyl, nodding towards the declaration of ethics the two of them had written.

Octavia looked away but still smiled. "Thank you, Vinyl. It's greatly appreciated."

Vinyl returned the smile.

"Vinyl," continued Octavia, "I'm sorry about—"

"Hey!" interrupted Vinyl. "Come here." Vinyl pulled her friend in close for a warm hug and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before letting her go.

"Love you, Tavi."

"Love you too, Vinyl."

Octavia went back over to her side of the desk, turning on her computer to start work. For a good few minutes, all the two shared were content smiles, happy to just be in each other's company.

Two loud taps on the door to Le sophistiqué ended the silence, drawing the two attention of the two ponies.

The two mares shot around to the knocks at the Le sophistiqué door.

"Come in!" shouted Octavia.

Through the door came Mix, pulling behind him a large coffee-making machine that had been rigged so that he could easily carry it up the stairs, by sliding it up railing with attachments on the side.

"Afternoon, ladies," he said, closing the door behind him.

Octavia's face lit up. "Mix! What brings you up here?" she asked with a smile plastered over her face. Vinyl quietly chuckled to herself.

"Well, I heard you guys were up here working, so I thought I'd bring up some coffee for you," he said as he turned the machine on.

"Mix, you're a rose among thorns," remarked Octavia as she got off her chair.

"Among other things..." muttered Vinyl with a smirk.

The cellist examined the machine. "So, what specials do you have for us?"

"Well, the girls downstairs told me we have two specials today: Zimbabwe and Kenya," said Mix as he got the machine ready.

"Oh, I'll have a Zimbabwe latte," Octavia said happily.

"I'll have Kenya cappuccino, I guess," said Vinyl, typing away.

"Coming right up, ladies." Mix started working the machine, and Octavia turned around and trotted back to her chair. As the machine processed the coffee beans, Mix examined the grey mare.

"Octavia?" he asked.

"Yes?" she responded as she sat down.

"Excuse me for asking, but did you by any chance visit the spa today?" he asked nervously.

Octavia's cheeks turned a bright pink, and Vinyl poked her eyes over her monitor.

"Well... as—as a matter of fact, I did," she stuttered. "Why do you ask?"

Vinyl noted that the earth pony started playing with her mane.

"Well... I mean, it—it's just that you look nice. And I recognize the lavender scent. They use it a lot at that place." He nervously looked back at the machine, trying not to let his blush show. "You look very nice today is all."

Vinyl rolled her eyes and shook her head. Octavia, on the other hoof, had a small smile as she got back to work.

"Thank you for noticing, Mix. My girlfriends offered to take me out today, and that's where we went."

Vinyl leaned over her monitor with a huge smirk on her face. "She was feeling, you know, not fresh down there."

Octavia's eyes widened, and her cheeks lit up with rage. Meanwhile, Mix broke out into a fit of giggles.

"Oh, it's one of those spas!" he said as he clutched his chest in laughter.

While Mix kept laughing, Octavia shot Vinyl a death glare. Vinyl just smiled in return, made a heart shape with her hooves, and mouthed the words "love you."

Hearing a ding, Mix pulled out Octavia's latte and placed the cup next to her keyboard. "Votre café, madame," he said, making a poor attempt at a French accent.

"Merci," she responded, causing the two to laugh as Mix started making Vinyl's drink.

Vinyl made a gesture of putting her hoof down her throat before sitting down.

As the sound of the machine flooded the room, Vinyl quickly spoke up. "Hey, Mix! Let me ask you something. Last night, Octy asked me if me and her—"

"She and I," corrected Octavia.

"—could swap running our sections of the club. What do you make of that?"

"You mean that you would take over Le sophistiqué?" he asked for clarification.

"Yeah," Vinyl laughed. "Could you imagine her in Wubville? What would that even look like?"

Mix glanced at Octy with a cocky smile. "The image of a backwards cap and a "Buck the Police" T-shirt comes to mind."

Vinyl's laughter became even harder as Mix joined in. Despite the joke at her expense, Octavia couldn't help but join in.

"Maybe so, but could you imagine Vinyl in Le sophistiqué?" she asked jokingly.

"Oh, I know I can." Vinyl leant back in her chair and placed her hooves behind her head as she drifted into her fantasy...

* * *

****

The Le sophistiqué in Vinyl's mind looked like a different place entirely, almost as though she had never paid attention to the actual layout. There was a countless number of fireplaces, every waiter had a pencil-thin mustache, and there was a large circular table that occupied the vast majority of the floor. Several refined ponies sat around the table. All of the stallions wore monocles, and oversized decadent jewelry hung from the ears of the mares. Vinyl's mane and tail were neatly groomed, and she wore a top hat and a monocle. A martini hovered in front of her. All eyes at the table were on her.

"So I said, 'I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini,'" quipped Vinyl, sending the table into roars of laughter.

The DJ produced a remote control and displayed it to the ponies around her. "If all of you will indulge me, I've prepared some alternative music for us this evening." She pressed the only button on the remote.

Speakers lowered from the ceiling and blasted dubstep at full volume, shattering the monocles and glasses of everypony at the table, leaving their manes frazzled. Vinyl remained unaffected by the vibrations.

"Good lord!" shouted Prince Blueblood. "What are these epic beats?"

"They're called wubs," said Vinyl.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I create them in my free time on my computer machine," said the DJ, sipping her martini.

"Remarkable," said Blueblood.

"Classic Vinyl," toasted Fleur de Lis.

Feeling a tap on her shoulder, Vinyl turned around to see a sophisticated-looking stallion with a blue mustache.

"Excuse me, Miss Scratch. My name is Fancypants. It would be my immense honor to be your consort. I shall shower you with riches and pleasure you the way a mare should be pleasured."

"Pardon me, good sir," said a rather dapper-looking Hired Muscle who had shown up out of thin air. "Miss Scratch," he continued. "I am hung like a horse and would make a much more suitable consort."

Fancypants sighed. "Very well. We shall settle this as gentlecolts will settle everything from this day forward."

The two stallions shook their hooves as Prince Blueblood raised his martini glass.

"Let the sexual tournament begin!"

While the crowd erupted into applause and cheers, Vinyl smiled and silently nodded.

* * *

****

Back in reality, Octavia and Mix watched in horror as Vinyl had her forelegs wrapped around her as she made sloppy kissing sounds, much like she did last night.

"Why do all of her fantasies end this way?" Octavia asked herself.

Octavia and Mix shot around as the coffee machine started giving off beeping sounds. The dapper unicorn ran over to check the device.

"Sorry. I was so quick to get it up here that I forgot to refill the beans," he said as he headed out the door. "I'll be right back!"

"Take your time," Octavia said as he closed the door.

The cellist trotted over to Vinyl—who was still lost in her fantasy—and socked her in the foreleg with as much strength as she could muster, bringing the unicorn back to reality.

"Must you act like a jackass wherever we find ourselves?" she asked with frustration pouring out of her mouth.

"Oh, lighten up, fuddy duddy. Can't you see I'm helping you?"

"How?!" she shouted. "You're teasing me in front of him! You're making me look—"

"Normal?" interjected the DJ. "You're his boss, but you like him, right?"

Octavia blushed and rubbed the left foreleg, struggling to make eye contact.

Vinyl continued. "You and I tease each other all the time. We're buddies. But you're his boss. If he sees that you're cool and that you can take a joke from me, then he's gonna ease up."

Octavia froze in place, with a face of shock and enlightenment on her face.

"What horrifies me is the fact that what you just said makes perfect sense."

"Exactly!" said Vinyl as she hopped off her chair. "Stick with me kido, and I'll help you through this. Can you dig it?"

"I don't know Vinyl... Maybe it would be safer to—"

"Safe shmafe!" interrupted the DJ. "Was it safe to open up a club with our own money?"

"My parent's money," corrected the cellist.

"The question remains Miss Philharmonica: Can you, in fact, dig it?" she asked, poking Octavia's upper chest with her hoof. Octavia smiled in response.

"Yes, I can dig it." Octavia glanced back at the door to Le sophistiqué with a weary expression. "I'm just worried this going to end horribly."

"Every relationship does," said Vinyl with an oddly reassuring tone. "Every relationship is destined to end. If you're lucky, it'll end with one of you dead in the ground." Vinyl was not sporting the most out-of-place smile Octavia had ever seen.

"You're a poet, Vinyl," said the deadpan earth pony.

"Well, at least he's not a mareinizer," said Vinyl as she sat back down.

The sound of tapping at the keyboard filled the room as Octavia stood silent.

"I beg your pardon?"

Vinyl looked back with disbelief.

"Is that not self-explanatory? There was song about it."

"You'll have to elaborate," said Octavia with a blank face.

Vinyl sighed as she pulled up iTunes on her computer. Surfing through her music list, she clicked the song named 'Mareinizer'.

"I'll show you," she said as the music started to play. She rose from her seat and started and stretched out her muscles. Then the singing started...

Solar-star, where you from how's it going?  
I know you, got a clue what you're doing

Octavia shook her head. "Vinyl, don't even—"

You can play the noob to all the chicks out here  
But I know what you are  
What you are baby

A small smile grew across the cellist face as Vinyl moved into the chorus, now swaying from side to side.

_Mareinizer_  
_Mare-Mareinizer_  
_You're a Mareinizer_  
_Oh_  
_Marinizer_  
_Oh_  
_You're a Marinizer_  
_Baby_

"Vinyl..." started Octavia as a tear creeped out of her eye. He teeth were showing as her grin grew wider.

_You, you, you are_

_You, you, you are_

_Mareinzer, Mareinizer_

_Mareinizer,_

_(Mareinizer)_

****With the last part of that verse, Vinyl winked and pointed straight at Octavia, whos grin was now reaching goofy proportions despite her efforts to contain the laughter.

Launching into the chorus, Vinyl slid up onto her hind legs and started dancing across the floor, shaking her hips from side to side and shuffling her hooves.

_Boy don't you touch that rump_  
_I-I know just _

_What you a-a-are_

Octavia finally gave in, rolling onto her back and breaking out into a fit of laughter, watching Vinyl shake her flank in her direction.

_Boy don't you touch that rump_

_I-I know just_

_What you a-a-are_

The cellist increased the volume of her laughter, now pointing at the dancing DJ. Vinyl froze in place for the next few lines.

_(You)_

_You got me going_

_(You)_

_You're "Oh so charming"_

_(You)_

_But you can't do it_

_(You)_

_You Mareinizer_

Vinyl pointed straight at Octavia, who was now openly crying while on the ground.

_Boy don't you touch that rump_

_I-I know just_

_What you a-a-are_

Vinyl twirled in place.

_Boy don't you touch that rump_

_I-I know just_

_What you..._

Vinyl's twirl came to a halt, leaving her facing the now open door to Wubville. Standing in the doorway was Neon Lights, staring blankly at the DJ.

"Don't stop now, Kelly," he said. "If you stop dancing, we won't be able to save the rec center."

Vinyl's face quickly turned red, her face was frozen in a position of shock, horror and shame with sweat dripping from her brow. Octavia, on the over hoof, was still cackling.

"Y-you were laughing at him?" asked Vinyl as she slowly turned around. Octavia's only response was more laughter, only she had her eyes open and was pointing straight at Vinyl's red face.

The DJ lowered herself back onto all fours and cleared her throat.

"I take it you're here for your interview?" she asked, still red faced.

"Well... I was," he smirked, "but I'm quite comfortable just standing here and enjoying the show."

Octavia struggled back to her feet, still laughing with tears dripping down her face. The giddy earth pony pulled over a spare chair and placed it on one end of the table while Vinyl magically moved the other two chairs to the opposite side.

"P-please, have a s-eehehehhehe," giggled Octavia.

The two club owners sat in their chairs. Vinyl crossed her forelegs and pouted while Octavia tried to keep a straight face, letting her tears drip off her face and onto the table.

"Let's get this over with," mumbled the embarrassed DJ.

Suddenly, Mix trotted in, carrying a bag of coffee beans with his magic.

"Hey guys. So Vinyl, you wanted the..." Mix trailed off when he noticed Neon. "Can I get you anything, sir?" he asked with a smile.

"Nah thanks, mate," he said. "I'm good."

After putting on Vinyl's cappuccino, Mix turned to notice Octavia crying, struggling to keep her face straight.

"What happened? Somepony die?" asked Mix with a confused expression.

"Yes," creaked the cellist before bursting into laughter once again. "Vinyl's dignity!"

Vinyl pouted while Octavia continued laughing. Neon quietly snickered to himself.

"Could you shut up so we can get this over with?" asked the frustrated DJ.

"O-okay. Hehehe. So Neon," said the cellist in an attempt to change the subject. "Tell us, what position are you applying for?"

"Well," began Neon. "I found the add for the lighting specialist in Wubville. I applied and here I am."

"Just one second," said Vinyl. "That accent... are you from Trottingham?"

Neon nodded in response. Octavia's face lit up.

"Oh, that's wonderful. I have family from Trottingham. When did you move to Ponyville?" she asked.

"Just a fortnight ago."

Octavia giggled at the word 'fortnight.'

Neon continued. "I've been looking for work since I arrive and I found out about this place after it opened."

"As interesting as that is," said a slightly pink in the face Vinyl, "I'd like to get this interview done quickly."

"Sure thing, mate," said Neon with a shrug.

Octavia spoke first. "Firstly, I'd like to know about your previous—"

"Actually, let me ask you something first," interjected Vinyl. "What's your full name?"

Everypony in the room shared the same confused expression.

"Neon Lights," he said, very matter of fact.

"You're hired!" she shouted.

"WHAT?!" shouted everypony else.

Vinyl turned to Octavia. "Just think abou it. I'm 'Vinyl Scratch,' I'm the DJ." She pointed at Mix. "He's 'Mix 'n' Match, he's the bartender. You see where I'm going?" she asked with a wide smirk.

Octavia stared blankly at the co-owner.

"Can you dig it?" she added.

"Enough, Vinyl." Octavia turned back to Neon. "You'll have to excuse my partner, she can be a bit of a silly pony every now and then."

"I was serious," said Vinyl with a straight face. "He's gonna be working with me, so I figure it would be better for me to just see him in action. It sounds like he can do the job." She turned to Neon. "That sound fair?"

Neon shrugged in response.

"Octy?" asked Vinyl with a smile.

Octavia sighed and threw her hooves in the air. "Whatever. I'm tired."

"Awesome!" proclaimed Vinyl. "What do you wanna do now?"

Octavia pusher herself, in her chair, over to her computer and pulled up a website with all the local movie screening times.

"Well, I've reconsidered your offer about seeing a movie—"

"Batmare?" asked the hopeful DJ.

"No," she said flatly. "But I saw a trailer on the telly for a dance movie called 'Trot Up: Revolution."

"Oh Celestia..." said Vinyl with a facehoof.

The cellist arched her eyebrow. "You've seen it already?"

"No, but I've done my research on this one." Vinyl stood up and did a little jig. "No wonder occupy Canterlot didn't work! They didn't dance enought!"

Mix snickered. "Maybe Occupy Canterlot was actually the world's laziest flash mob."

Octavia tried to hold back her giggles. "Celestia, that's so mean and wrong."

"Then why are you laughing?" he asked with a smirk.

Octavia looked away and smiled with a blush. Vinyl noticed that she and Neon did the same eye roll at the sight of the two.

Vinyl suddenly hopped off her chair. "You know what? Let's all just go now. It'll give us something besides me to laugh at."

"That sounds nice," said Octavia as she grabbed her coat of the rack.

The earth pony looked back at Mix who started to close up his coffee machine.

"Would you two like to join us?" asked the cellist.

Mix and Neon glanced back at each other before smiling back at Octavia.

"If you don't mind me taking my break now," said Mix.

"We don't get busy until the evening, anyway."

Neon got up from his seat and adjusted his tie. "I guess it would be rude for me to decline an invitation from my new employers."

Mix trotted over to Vinyl as she put on her shades.

"Sorry, Vinyl. I just realized I forgot to give you your coffee."

"Forget about it. I'll grab something at the movie."

Vinyl and Neon headed down the Wubville stairs, letting the door close behind them. Mix trotted to the door and held it open for Octavia. The cellist smiled and playfully brushed her tail against him as she walked past.

* * *

****

_3:45 PM, August 22nd, 2012_

Eating Alfresco at the cafe next to Club Harmony was a greasy looking pony in a cheap suit. He peered over his copy of that day's edition of the Foal Free Press so he could see Octavia, Vinyl, Mix and Neon exit through the back door and trot down the street. Keeping his eyes on them, the greasy pony pulled out his mobile and dialed.

"Hey, Maxx. It's Trotta—"

"I know it's you, you simpleton!" shouted the obviously modulated voice through the phone. "What progress have you made with Club Harmony?"

"Well, I talked to Philharmonica and she wouldn't budge. They think they've got nothing to be afraid of."

"They're young," said Maxx, lowering his volume. "They'll learn."

"What should we do now? You told me to talk to the cellist and I made no progress. What do I do now?"

Trotter's eyes followed the group of ponies, his vision now focused on the white unicorn before the voice on the other end of the line spoke up.

"Appeal to her better half."

* * *

****

Next: Is It Witchcraft?!


End file.
